Change how you Think about Change
We’ve been conditioned to think that change is painful, difficult or takes a long time. On the contrary - it’s just matter of changing how you think and the changes will fall right into place quickly, smoothly and peacefully. I see this all the time with my clients. They're convinced it's going to be painful or difficult to create change. Once they see the small, simple yet powerful steps that free them of their old ways of being stuck, they see results VERY quickly! Knowing the specific ways to change your actions empowers you because you now have options. Rather than being a victim to way the wind blows, you can take charge of your life without working so hard. Imagine how you'd feel to be free of the guilt and pressure you're under now!
When you change your actions, feelings will follow. Little step by little step you’ll be able to let go of the disease to please, stop being so hard on yourself and find better relationships, more joy and greater abundance.
Change isn’t always comfortable. Often to experience change you have to push through the discomfort that’s kept you stuck up to this point. I know the good stuff that’s waiting for you on the other side of that resistance, so I’m excited to see you break through!
Results can come from very small changes. The first steps of change come with small steps so it’s not too much too soon. Do you push yourself to be perfect? Do you expect yourself to have life all figured out? Are so hard on yourself when things don't go just right? Do you fall into the trap that if you're not perfect, you're all wrong? Take a new approach to change. Look for successes, not failures. Focus on what went right, not wrong. Talk to yourself with kindness, patience and humor. Let change come in small steps that will ripple into the big remodel you have in mind for your life. We want real results that last, not sudden leaps that are merely a flash in the pan.
You may find, however, it’s not as difficult as you think. I learned many things from my experiences as a therapist with at risk youth and struggling families. The biggest lesson I walked away with is this: There is virtually no limit to the boundless strength and resilience of the human spirit. You’ve already survived pain and struggle to get to today. If you can handle that, there’s nothing you can't handle. Results are not only possible, but likely. (And until you believe it, I’ve got your back.)
I can show you the way out because I've been there myself. Many times it literally felt life threatening to do something as simple as set a boundary, deal with conflict, say no or put less emphasis on making other people happy. I learned the connection between my fear of rejection, fear of failure and success, fear of disapproval, fear of conflict, fear of not being liked and so many others to the fact that I'd held on to old ideas and rules that no longer fit. Confronting these fears often made my heart pound, blood pressure soar, knees shaky and hands ice cold. But each time I summoned the courage to take on what felt like King Kong, it got easier.
Here’s the first secret…
Fears look like a brick wall. As you charge (or tip toe) up to it, you brace for the impact of the worst case scenario. However, if you have the courage to break through it, you’ll find the brick wall was an illusion of your own making. It’s actually tissue paper thin. The anticipation of change is much worse than actually doing it. Plus, the freedom and peace you’ll find on the other side of that wall of fear is SO sweet.
Recall the wise words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.: "Take the first step in faith...you don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step."
Action Step: Decide today one small thing you can change to point your life in the direction of your dreams. If you need some help or inspiration, all the tools you need can be found at www.learnhowtosayno.com.
Showing posts with label Create Change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Create Change. Show all posts
Monday, November 7, 2011
Monday, November 22, 2010
Wanted: A Few Big Dreamers
This past weekend, I had a good old-fashioned slumber party with my best friend Michelle. Her husband was away on business so we took advantage of the opportunity to enjoy a girls night in. We talked and ate and talked some more. Michelle and I have been known to stay up talking all night without even realizing time had passed until we saw the sun start to come up!
While we didn’t stay up all night this time, we did cover all the necessary sleep over topics – relationships, kids, career, chocolate. Since we both have birthdays this month, we also talked a lot about where we are in life and where we want to be when our birthdays roll around this time next year. I decided I want to dedicate this next year to growing by leaps and bounds. Next November will be my 40th birthday, a definite milestone. Throughout our 20’s and 30’s my friends and I would talk about how the struggles we were learning from then would mean we’d be so awesome at 40. I’m going to make sure that’s 100% true for me. Join me! Let’s all stride boldly in the direction of our dreams. Together we are unstoppable!
What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
What are the secret desires of your heart?
Most of the time we dismiss the big dreams that float through our thoughts. We write them off as “unrealistic” or “impossible.” Why? Because no one else has done it before? Because it would be difficult, scary or uncomfortable? This type of limited thinking is what keeps most people locked in lives of quiet desperation. The truth is any idea that comes to you holds divine inspiration. That thought would not occur to you unless there was a way to bring it to life. Rather than talk yourself out it, consider how to make it happen. What’s the dream that you keep pushing to the side? Would it surprise you to know if you can dream it you can do it?
The beauty of big dreams is that they scare most people. That means for those of us brave and faithful enough to stretch ourselves to pursue big dreams have very little competition. It’s much harder to find success when you’re one of the pack, a common face in the crowd. Most people will resign themselves to the protection of the group, so it doesn’t take much to distinguish yourself. By doing just a little more than expected and stretching yourself past your comfort zone you move into less crowed territory. You become a shining light, capable of attracting the people and opportunities that will shepherd in the life of your dreams.
I want you to have the life of your dreams. It’s the life that exists just on the other side of your fears. The secret is those fears are illusions that you can stride through any time you wish. I love this quote from A Course in Miracles: “If you knew who walked beside you on the path that you have chosen, you could never be afraid.”
It’s time to cast aside old habits, labels, patterns and fears. The world needs a few committed people to step up and create the change they want to see in the world. Do your part. Anchor yourself to your divine gifts and share them generously with those around you and the world. Trust that you already have all you need to make your dreams come true. You’re not alone. And until you know that for sure, I’ve got your back.
If you want more ideas and solutions to improve your life, go to www.pleaseaholics.com and get my Free CD, Stop Being So Hard On Yourself! Simple Steps to Becoming Happier and More Productive.
While we didn’t stay up all night this time, we did cover all the necessary sleep over topics – relationships, kids, career, chocolate. Since we both have birthdays this month, we also talked a lot about where we are in life and where we want to be when our birthdays roll around this time next year. I decided I want to dedicate this next year to growing by leaps and bounds. Next November will be my 40th birthday, a definite milestone. Throughout our 20’s and 30’s my friends and I would talk about how the struggles we were learning from then would mean we’d be so awesome at 40. I’m going to make sure that’s 100% true for me. Join me! Let’s all stride boldly in the direction of our dreams. Together we are unstoppable!
What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
What are the secret desires of your heart?
Most of the time we dismiss the big dreams that float through our thoughts. We write them off as “unrealistic” or “impossible.” Why? Because no one else has done it before? Because it would be difficult, scary or uncomfortable? This type of limited thinking is what keeps most people locked in lives of quiet desperation. The truth is any idea that comes to you holds divine inspiration. That thought would not occur to you unless there was a way to bring it to life. Rather than talk yourself out it, consider how to make it happen. What’s the dream that you keep pushing to the side? Would it surprise you to know if you can dream it you can do it?
The beauty of big dreams is that they scare most people. That means for those of us brave and faithful enough to stretch ourselves to pursue big dreams have very little competition. It’s much harder to find success when you’re one of the pack, a common face in the crowd. Most people will resign themselves to the protection of the group, so it doesn’t take much to distinguish yourself. By doing just a little more than expected and stretching yourself past your comfort zone you move into less crowed territory. You become a shining light, capable of attracting the people and opportunities that will shepherd in the life of your dreams.
I want you to have the life of your dreams. It’s the life that exists just on the other side of your fears. The secret is those fears are illusions that you can stride through any time you wish. I love this quote from A Course in Miracles: “If you knew who walked beside you on the path that you have chosen, you could never be afraid.”
It’s time to cast aside old habits, labels, patterns and fears. The world needs a few committed people to step up and create the change they want to see in the world. Do your part. Anchor yourself to your divine gifts and share them generously with those around you and the world. Trust that you already have all you need to make your dreams come true. You’re not alone. And until you know that for sure, I’ve got your back.
If you want more ideas and solutions to improve your life, go to www.pleaseaholics.com and get my Free CD, Stop Being So Hard On Yourself! Simple Steps to Becoming Happier and More Productive.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Turn Over A New Leaf
Fall is one if my favorite times of year. Since I was a kid I’ve loved the crisp air, school days and football season. If you haven’t treated yourself to a honey crisp apple yet, rush to the store and buy one immediately! J Perhaps the best feature of autumn is the vibrant jewel tone colors. They take my breath away! I can’t help but notice the beautiful reds, oranges, yellows and golds.
That gorgeous foliage reminds me to reflect on the changing seasons – emphasis on CHANGE. Fall is a great time to turn over a new leaf…make a change. Change doesn’t have to be difficult or painful, despite what we’ve been conditioned to believe, especially when we start small. Use the beauty of the changes you see in nature as inspiration to turn over a new life in your life.Turn over a new leaf.
Think of a change would you like to create in your life.
Change isn’t always comfortable. Often to experience change you have to push through the discomfort that’s kept you stuck up to this point. I expect results for you. I would be doing you a disservice if I just let you float along as you have been so far. I know the good stuff that’s waiting for you on the other side of that resistance, so I’m excited to see you break through! You may find, however, it’s not as difficult and won’t take as long as you think.
Don’t worry! Great results can come from very small changes. Dr. Robert Mauer’s Kaisen method of change, detailed in his book, One Small Step Can Change Your Life, teaches that even the smallest changes can bring about significant results. Allowing yourself the option to just make a small change squelches the fears and doubts that have sabotaged your progress in the past.
Create change with ridiculously small steps so it’s not too much too soon. We want real results that last, not sudden leaps that are merely a flash in the pan. Plus, if the change isn’t that different from what you’re doing already, you’re more likely to do it, rather than get overwhelmed with a huge step or flooded with fear. You’ll be able to overcome inertia and use the momentum from small changes to propel you forward.
For example, let’s say your goal is to be debt free. That can be a tall order! Rather than get psyched out by the enormity of the goal, think of the smallest step you could take in that direction. I mean microscopically small. To begin your path toward financial freedom, decide you’ll add an extra penny to each of your payments next month. Then the next month make it two cents or maybe go crazy and add an extra dollar.
Over time you’ll see the benefits of this small gesture, and find inspiration to make your changes bigger. The key is to just turn over one leaf today. Start small.
What’s your goal?
What change do you want to create?
What’s the first ridiculously small step you’ll take in that direction? Start today!
If you want more ideas and solutions to improve your life, go to www.pleaseaholics.com and get my Free CD, Stop Being So Hard On Yourself! Simple Steps to Becoming Happier and More Produtive. Also available online: The Better Boundaries, Better Life Coaching programs and Better Boundaries, Better Life Home Study System and Marketing & Mindset Money Magent Home Sutdy System at www.pleaseaholics.com.
That gorgeous foliage reminds me to reflect on the changing seasons – emphasis on CHANGE. Fall is a great time to turn over a new leaf…make a change. Change doesn’t have to be difficult or painful, despite what we’ve been conditioned to believe, especially when we start small. Use the beauty of the changes you see in nature as inspiration to turn over a new life in your life.Turn over a new leaf.
Think of a change would you like to create in your life.
Change isn’t always comfortable. Often to experience change you have to push through the discomfort that’s kept you stuck up to this point. I expect results for you. I would be doing you a disservice if I just let you float along as you have been so far. I know the good stuff that’s waiting for you on the other side of that resistance, so I’m excited to see you break through! You may find, however, it’s not as difficult and won’t take as long as you think.
Don’t worry! Great results can come from very small changes. Dr. Robert Mauer’s Kaisen method of change, detailed in his book, One Small Step Can Change Your Life, teaches that even the smallest changes can bring about significant results. Allowing yourself the option to just make a small change squelches the fears and doubts that have sabotaged your progress in the past.
Create change with ridiculously small steps so it’s not too much too soon. We want real results that last, not sudden leaps that are merely a flash in the pan. Plus, if the change isn’t that different from what you’re doing already, you’re more likely to do it, rather than get overwhelmed with a huge step or flooded with fear. You’ll be able to overcome inertia and use the momentum from small changes to propel you forward.
For example, let’s say your goal is to be debt free. That can be a tall order! Rather than get psyched out by the enormity of the goal, think of the smallest step you could take in that direction. I mean microscopically small. To begin your path toward financial freedom, decide you’ll add an extra penny to each of your payments next month. Then the next month make it two cents or maybe go crazy and add an extra dollar.
Over time you’ll see the benefits of this small gesture, and find inspiration to make your changes bigger. The key is to just turn over one leaf today. Start small.
What’s your goal?
What change do you want to create?
What’s the first ridiculously small step you’ll take in that direction? Start today!
If you want more ideas and solutions to improve your life, go to www.pleaseaholics.com and get my Free CD, Stop Being So Hard On Yourself! Simple Steps to Becoming Happier and More Produtive. Also available online: The Better Boundaries, Better Life Coaching programs and Better Boundaries, Better Life Home Study System and Marketing & Mindset Money Magent Home Sutdy System at www.pleaseaholics.com.
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