We spent last weekend at our family's cabin. It really makes it feel so much more like Christmas to be surrounded by snow. Time seems to pass more slowly when we're at the cabin. We play games, watch movies, sled and relish in the luxury of relaxation. Taking a few days at a slower pace really recharges my batteries! We spent most of Sunday skiing. As always I learn so much about life when I go skiing! There are lessons imbedded in every trip to the slopes.
I'm a very novice skier. I never skied as a kid, and didn't try it for the first time until I was about 20. Back then, I enjoyed the speedy, wind in my hair element of it, but didn't enjoy the vulnerability of attempting something that didn't come easily to me. Skiing required relinquishing control and trusting others to pick me up when I fell - two things I'd never been very good at. Since my first experience skiing triggered some pretty uncomfortable psychological shortcomings, I wasn't eager to try it again. However, last year when our kids took lessons, I decided I would set a good example and get back out there too.
Gradually my skiing improved. Ironically, I found my progress was more of a psychological exercise than a physical one. Last winter, skiing taught me so many FANTASTIC lessons! Perhaps the most profound, was the breakthrough I experienced when I finally mastered getting off the chair lift successfully. Prior to this landmark moment, I'd always responded to getting off the chair lift with stubborn insistence to do what I thought was best. As soon as my skis hit the snow, I'd stand straight up in an effort to gain balance. This seemed logical given my life-long experience of successfully walking around. However, skiing requires a different solution. Gravity and all the accompanying laws of physics dictate that what works with walking, does not work for skiing. However, I tried to deny these laws by insisting upon doing it my way.
That all changed one sunny winter day. Our daughter, Rachel, and I headed over to our favorite ski run. The lift holds 4 people, so in an effort to speed up the line, we rode up the slope with another single rider. Our companion was a woman in her sixties with youthful, wise, sparkling eyes. As we were riding up, I shared with Rachel the pep talk I was giving myself about how this was going to be THE groundbreaking day I finally got off the chairlift without falling. The wise woman next to me said, "The trick is to lean forward, even if it feels like you shouldn't. Just trust and lean forward." As I thanked her, we exchanged a knowing glance. I think we both realized this advice was meant for more than just skiing. These sage words are a great philosophy for life.
As we reached the top of the run, my wise companion wished me luck. However I barely heard her because I was so focused on the task at hand. As I got off the chairlift, I literally repeated over and over out loud, "Trust and lean forward...trust and lean forward." I forced myself to keep my upper body forward, even as everything I’d known up to that point told me to stand up. And what do you know...it worked! By trusting and leaning forward I successfully exited the chairlift without falling for the first time!
By trusting myself (and the laws of physics,) I forced myself to work against old habits and adopt new ones. I had to trust that something different might work, without having yet experienced it. It was a leap of faith. Leaning forward puts trust into action. It's easy to look into the past and let old stuff determine what you believe is possible for the future. Rather than looking over your shoulder and remain haunted by your past, lean forward. Stick your neck out. Point your focus and momentum in the direction of what you truly want, NOT when you're running away from. Lean forward toward a new, more optimistic future.
Lessons learned skiing apply so perfectly to life too. Just as with skiing, there are invisible forces at work in life too. Faith. Trust. The Law of Attraction. Confidence. Divine intervention. No matter what you call them and whether or not you acknowledge them, they are at work all around you. You can stubbornly deny and work against them, like I did, and continue to fall when you get off your metaphorical chair lift. Or, you can work in harmony with them and allow them to simplify and accelerate your pursuit of happiness.
Remember these lessons learned from skiing to find peace, joy and happiness this holiday season and into the coming new year:
1. What worked in the past may not work now. Rather than stubbornly cling to old ways, try something new.
2. Be willing to listen for sage advice from unexpected sources and fellow travelers along the way.
3. Move in harmony with, not resistance to, the invisible forces at work in your life.
4. Trust and lean forward.
Trust and Lean Forward into life. You'll be amazed by the miracles that start to show up! Let me know how it goes.
Do you want to reuse this article? Feel free! But you must include the following:
Stephanie Owens is founder of Pleaseaholics.com and creator of the Better Boundaries, Better Life System, specializing in teaching People Pleasers how to stop being so hard on themselves and live happier, more productive lives. To get your FREE Audio CD by mail and receive her weekly articles on letting go of the disease to please and creating a mindset that attracts success, visit www.pleaseaholics.com.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
We're Not In Kansas Anymore!
Successful, HAPPY people take responsibility for their current reality. Good or bad, they own the results of their actions (or inaction) and hold themselves accountable.
You’ve created your current reality. This is actually really good news! If you had the power to get you where you are, you ALSO have the power to get yourself where you want to be. Think about it this way, if you had no ability to influence and impact the path of your life, it wouldn’t matter what actions or mindset you put in motion. But if you acknowledge and take responsibility for the things you’ve done (or have chosen not to do), you put yourself in the driver’s seat of your future. I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather know I influence the oars and rudder of the boat versus just bobbing along wherever the ocean may take me. YOU, not luck or other people, decide your future.
We’re Not In Kansas Any More. It’s just like Dorothy learns in the Wizard of Oz—”You’ve had the power all along.” You’ve had the power all along to create your life. Unconsciously you’ve already been doing so. Now is the time to become conscious and deliberate about crafting the life you want and becoming the person you truly want to be.
It’s easy to play the blame game or make excuses. Blaming others (my parents never encouraged me) or our circumstances (bad economy) or making excuses (I don’t have the time) helps cushion our egos. Blaming softens the blows of mistakes and disappointments along the way and allows us to rationalize why we’re procrastinating or struggling rather than confronting the fears and doubts that hold us back. When you decide to honestly look at the reasons and excuses you give, and take responsibility for them, you’ll be able to break through to the happiness, prosperity, and peace of mind you’re yearning for.
· Who or what do you blame for the things you don’t like about your situation?
· What are the excuses and reasons you give yourself or others for why things aren’t where you’d like them to be?
The point of all of this is not for you to beat up or get down on yourself. The purpose is to see the ways you can make some small changes that will get you better results. You don’t have to go it alone! That’s why I’m here to help and support you along the way.
I really want you to let it sink in that YOU have the power to create the life you really want. You choose your life. You choose the attitude with which you approach each day and each moment. You choose your actions and reactions that set the stage and create the motion that bring your dreams to life. You choose the expectations for what is possible in your life. You choose your mindset. The universe will literally rearrange itself to provide outcomes that match the expectations you envision. I want you to get all you desire out of life! Owning your thoughts and actions can make all the difference.
Your Assignment: As always, start small. For the rest of today, just pay attention to the thoughts that cross your mind that sound like excuses or blame others. Be kind to yourself as you merely notice, but NOT adjust your thoughts. Then, from noon to 1:00 this Sunday commit to intentionally choosing your attitude, thoughts, words and actions moment to moment. If rationalizations, excuses and blaming appear, stop them in their tracks and remind your self, “I have the power to choose my life.” Then click your heels together three times and choose to move yourself in a better direction.
Find solidarity in the fact that you won’t be going it alone. Your fellow Pleaseaholics and I will all be joined in spirit for that hour as we work together to create a Better Life. I”ll be thinking about you this Sunday! I’d love to know what this experiment is like for you. Let me know how it goes!
If you want more ideas and solutions to improve your life, go to www.pleaseaholics.com and get my Free CD, Stop Being So Hard On Yourself! Simple Steps to Becoming Happier and More Productive. Also available online: The Better Boundaries, Better Life Coaching programs and Better Boundaries, Better Life Home Study System and Marketing & Mindset Money Magnet Home Study System at www.pleaseaholics.com.
Copywrite 2010 Pleaseaholics. All rights reserved.
Do you want to reuse this article? Feel free! But you must include the following:
Stephanie Owens is founder of Pleaseaholics.com and creator of the Better Boundaries, Better Life System, specializing in teaching People Pleasers how to stop being so hard on themselves and live happier, more productive lives. To get your FREE Audio CD by mail and receive her weekly articles on letting go of the disease to please and creating a mindset that attracts success, visit www.pleaseaholics.com.
You’ve created your current reality. This is actually really good news! If you had the power to get you where you are, you ALSO have the power to get yourself where you want to be. Think about it this way, if you had no ability to influence and impact the path of your life, it wouldn’t matter what actions or mindset you put in motion. But if you acknowledge and take responsibility for the things you’ve done (or have chosen not to do), you put yourself in the driver’s seat of your future. I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather know I influence the oars and rudder of the boat versus just bobbing along wherever the ocean may take me. YOU, not luck or other people, decide your future.
We’re Not In Kansas Any More. It’s just like Dorothy learns in the Wizard of Oz—”You’ve had the power all along.” You’ve had the power all along to create your life. Unconsciously you’ve already been doing so. Now is the time to become conscious and deliberate about crafting the life you want and becoming the person you truly want to be.
It’s easy to play the blame game or make excuses. Blaming others (my parents never encouraged me) or our circumstances (bad economy) or making excuses (I don’t have the time) helps cushion our egos. Blaming softens the blows of mistakes and disappointments along the way and allows us to rationalize why we’re procrastinating or struggling rather than confronting the fears and doubts that hold us back. When you decide to honestly look at the reasons and excuses you give, and take responsibility for them, you’ll be able to break through to the happiness, prosperity, and peace of mind you’re yearning for.
· Who or what do you blame for the things you don’t like about your situation?
· What are the excuses and reasons you give yourself or others for why things aren’t where you’d like them to be?
The point of all of this is not for you to beat up or get down on yourself. The purpose is to see the ways you can make some small changes that will get you better results. You don’t have to go it alone! That’s why I’m here to help and support you along the way.
I really want you to let it sink in that YOU have the power to create the life you really want. You choose your life. You choose the attitude with which you approach each day and each moment. You choose your actions and reactions that set the stage and create the motion that bring your dreams to life. You choose the expectations for what is possible in your life. You choose your mindset. The universe will literally rearrange itself to provide outcomes that match the expectations you envision. I want you to get all you desire out of life! Owning your thoughts and actions can make all the difference.
Your Assignment: As always, start small. For the rest of today, just pay attention to the thoughts that cross your mind that sound like excuses or blame others. Be kind to yourself as you merely notice, but NOT adjust your thoughts. Then, from noon to 1:00 this Sunday commit to intentionally choosing your attitude, thoughts, words and actions moment to moment. If rationalizations, excuses and blaming appear, stop them in their tracks and remind your self, “I have the power to choose my life.” Then click your heels together three times and choose to move yourself in a better direction.
Find solidarity in the fact that you won’t be going it alone. Your fellow Pleaseaholics and I will all be joined in spirit for that hour as we work together to create a Better Life. I”ll be thinking about you this Sunday! I’d love to know what this experiment is like for you. Let me know how it goes!
If you want more ideas and solutions to improve your life, go to www.pleaseaholics.com and get my Free CD, Stop Being So Hard On Yourself! Simple Steps to Becoming Happier and More Productive. Also available online: The Better Boundaries, Better Life Coaching programs and Better Boundaries, Better Life Home Study System and Marketing & Mindset Money Magnet Home Study System at www.pleaseaholics.com.
Copywrite 2010 Pleaseaholics. All rights reserved.
Do you want to reuse this article? Feel free! But you must include the following:
Stephanie Owens is founder of Pleaseaholics.com and creator of the Better Boundaries, Better Life System, specializing in teaching People Pleasers how to stop being so hard on themselves and live happier, more productive lives. To get your FREE Audio CD by mail and receive her weekly articles on letting go of the disease to please and creating a mindset that attracts success, visit www.pleaseaholics.com.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Attitude of Gratitude
I hope you enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend. Our daughter Rachel and I continued our tradition of going to Starbucks for breakfast while my husband Cliff and our son Jaxon play football in a nearby Turkey Bowl. We spend the rest of our holiday making the rounds between in laws and my parents. A day surrounded by family provides a great opportunity to practice gratitude for all the wonderful and quirky traits that exist within families.
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday! I love that we celebrate an entire day dedicated to gratitude and appreciation for the abundance in our lives. I have much to be thankful for – an amazing husband, children we are so proud of, supportive extended family, the best friends in the world, a comfortable home, good health, freedom and the opportunity to live my passion. Yet it’s easy in the hustle and bustle of life to take these blessings for granted. That’s why it’s good to have a holiday whose purpose is to remind us to stop and notice what we have to be grateful for and count our blessings.
I hope you know amongst my many blessing, I’m very grateful for you too. It means so much to me that you allow me to join you on your journey to live your best life. In that way you help me live my best life too. J I don’t have the words to fully capture the depth of my gratitude, so I’ll just simply say, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
Having an attitude of gratitude is important all year, not just on Thanksgiving. Gratitude combats even the worst circumstances and most foul moods. If you struggle to find joy or feel you’re barely keeping your head above water, adopting an attitude of gratitude unlocks your sweet spirit that’s trapped behind depression, overwhelm and pain. This is the part of you who longs to be lighthearted, joyful, optimistic and at peace. Do you struggle to find and maintain these states of mind? If so, you may be stuck in the “I’ll be happy when” trap. “I’ll be happy when I’m thin.” “I”ll be happy when it stops raining.” “I’ll be happy when I have more money.” “I’ll be happy when I finish this project.” “I’ll be happy when the holidays are over.” “I’ll be happy when I get a new job.”
It’s easy to con yourself into putting off your happiness and satisfaction until circumstances change. In what ways to you fall into the “I’ll be happy when” trap?
You can shift your mindset so you can find happiness and satisfaction in the present moment by creating a daily gratitude practice. At least once a day, focus on looking for the ways things are going well. What do you have to be happy about and grateful for right now? Even the most dispondant person has something to be thankful for. If nothing else you can be grateful you have the opportunity to read this article so you can begin to turn your life in a new direction.
Gratitude is incompatible with sadness, grief, anxiety or fear. By turning your attention toward your blessings, not only do you make it impossible to feel bad, but you begin to attract more good thing into your life. Putting on gratitude colored glasses makes you more aware of the good stuff and wonderful opportunities that are already all around you. You’ll begin to feel your heart warm to the idea that you can create a happy, prosperous, healthy life.
Your Assignment: Create a daily gratitude practice – journal, blog, prayer, email me every day. Get creative! Focus on looking for the ways things are going well even if you haven’t reached your ultimate goal yet. Each day note something you enjoyed about this part of the journey.
If you want more ideas and solutions to improve your life, go to www.pleaseaholics.com and get my Free CD, Stop Being So Hard On Yourself! Simple Steps to Becoming Happier and More Productive. Also available online: The Better Boundaries, Better Life Coaching programs and Better Boundaries, Better Life Home Study System and Marketing & Mindset Money Magnet Home Study System at www.pleaseaholics.com.
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday! I love that we celebrate an entire day dedicated to gratitude and appreciation for the abundance in our lives. I have much to be thankful for – an amazing husband, children we are so proud of, supportive extended family, the best friends in the world, a comfortable home, good health, freedom and the opportunity to live my passion. Yet it’s easy in the hustle and bustle of life to take these blessings for granted. That’s why it’s good to have a holiday whose purpose is to remind us to stop and notice what we have to be grateful for and count our blessings.
I hope you know amongst my many blessing, I’m very grateful for you too. It means so much to me that you allow me to join you on your journey to live your best life. In that way you help me live my best life too. J I don’t have the words to fully capture the depth of my gratitude, so I’ll just simply say, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
Having an attitude of gratitude is important all year, not just on Thanksgiving. Gratitude combats even the worst circumstances and most foul moods. If you struggle to find joy or feel you’re barely keeping your head above water, adopting an attitude of gratitude unlocks your sweet spirit that’s trapped behind depression, overwhelm and pain. This is the part of you who longs to be lighthearted, joyful, optimistic and at peace. Do you struggle to find and maintain these states of mind? If so, you may be stuck in the “I’ll be happy when” trap. “I’ll be happy when I’m thin.” “I”ll be happy when it stops raining.” “I’ll be happy when I have more money.” “I’ll be happy when I finish this project.” “I’ll be happy when the holidays are over.” “I’ll be happy when I get a new job.”
It’s easy to con yourself into putting off your happiness and satisfaction until circumstances change. In what ways to you fall into the “I’ll be happy when” trap?
You can shift your mindset so you can find happiness and satisfaction in the present moment by creating a daily gratitude practice. At least once a day, focus on looking for the ways things are going well. What do you have to be happy about and grateful for right now? Even the most dispondant person has something to be thankful for. If nothing else you can be grateful you have the opportunity to read this article so you can begin to turn your life in a new direction.
Gratitude is incompatible with sadness, grief, anxiety or fear. By turning your attention toward your blessings, not only do you make it impossible to feel bad, but you begin to attract more good thing into your life. Putting on gratitude colored glasses makes you more aware of the good stuff and wonderful opportunities that are already all around you. You’ll begin to feel your heart warm to the idea that you can create a happy, prosperous, healthy life.
Your Assignment: Create a daily gratitude practice – journal, blog, prayer, email me every day. Get creative! Focus on looking for the ways things are going well even if you haven’t reached your ultimate goal yet. Each day note something you enjoyed about this part of the journey.
If you want more ideas and solutions to improve your life, go to www.pleaseaholics.com and get my Free CD, Stop Being So Hard On Yourself! Simple Steps to Becoming Happier and More Productive. Also available online: The Better Boundaries, Better Life Coaching programs and Better Boundaries, Better Life Home Study System and Marketing & Mindset Money Magnet Home Study System at www.pleaseaholics.com.
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