How about all this snow! Did you know currently 49 of the 50 states (even Hawaii!) have snow. The widespread cold snap reminded me to clean our furnace filter. The metaphor of this chore lead me to ponder...Is my internal filter effecting my ability to be warm and comfortable?
A couple years years after we bought our first house, we had our furnace serviced. The technician asked me how often we replace or clean out our filter. He was floored when I told her we’d never cleaned out the filter. He gave me a long lecture about how important it is to regularly check and maintain the filter to it stays clean. He educated me about how much harder the furnace has to work when the filter is dirty, and how much more energy it takes to produce warmth when the filter is bogged down with gunk. Not only was this a great lesson in home maintainence, but also a perfect metaphor for life.
We each have an inner filter through which we see and experience the world. The filter creates your perspective on life. It determines your intrepration of other people actions and how you choose to respond. Your filter also creates the expectations you have for what is or is not possible in your life.
Your filter gets dirty when you stay connected to past pain,fear, guilt or ways people have offended you in the past. If you don’t regularly clean out your filter, it becomes clogged with anger, resentment and bitterness. Your filter causes you to assign meaning to situations you encounter. This meaning creates the rules, excuses and reasons you use to rationalize staying stuck hold you back from pursuing what you want most in life. Would it surprise you to learn that you’ve decided what other people’s actions are about. Would you be shocked to learn their behaviors don’t have to mean what believed all along?
More importantly, your filter creates the energy people pick up from you. Have you ever encountered someone who makes you feel better just to be around them? How about someone who just makes you feel drained or creeped out? This is a reflection of their inner filter. What expereince do you want people to have when they’re around you? Is your energy attractive or repellant? If you want to attract more good stuff in your life, clean out your filter.
When your filter as clean as possible, there’s less gunk to which negativity you encounter can get stuck. You’re able to experience irritating or difficult people and situations without being offended or bothered. Instead of getting stuck, their bad energy just passes right through. You can be uneffected by their pessemistic, draining approach or, even rudeness.
Having a clean filter allows you to be proactive rather than reactive; optimistic versus pessimistic; generous over stingy and confident not fearful. As you clear out your filter, your actions will lead people to view you as confident, authentic and uplifting. Elevating your energy level in this way will attract people and opportunities to you that are just what you need to be happy.
What people and experiences would you like to attract? True Friends? Mentors? Pleasant interactions with acquaintances and strangers? Divine Intimate Relationships? Improved co-parenting with your exspouse? Deep, loving parenting/child relationships? Cooperative, supportive friends and family?
To keep your inner filter clean, follow the advice of my furnace repairman:
1. Make a habit of looking at your filter regularly. (He says once a month for the furnace; I say once a day for your inner filter)
2. Clean your filter by letting go of your attachment to other people’s filters. Let it go!
3. When you find yourself getting triggered by something sticking in your filter, notice what the current situation reminds you of. It’s very likely you’re responding to layers of gunk and pain, not just what’s going on right now.
4. Deal with the core of what’s really bothering you and let go of past hurt and pain. Move forward with a clean filter and approach to life.
When you clean out your filter, you’ll find you don’t have to work so hard to function. You’ll be more comfortable, using far less energy. A clean filter makes it so much easier to have warmth in your heart and in your home.
Showing posts with label law of attraction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label law of attraction. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Life Lessons Learned Skiing
We spent last weekend at our family's cabin. It really makes it feel so much more like Christmas to be surrounded by snow. Time seems to pass more slowly when we're at the cabin. We play games, watch movies, sled and relish in the luxury of relaxation. Taking a few days at a slower pace really recharges my batteries! We spent most of Sunday skiing. As always I learn so much about life when I go skiing! There are lessons imbedded in every trip to the slopes.
I'm a very novice skier. I never skied as a kid, and didn't try it for the first time until I was about 20. Back then, I enjoyed the speedy, wind in my hair element of it, but didn't enjoy the vulnerability of attempting something that didn't come easily to me. Skiing required relinquishing control and trusting others to pick me up when I fell - two things I'd never been very good at. Since my first experience skiing triggered some pretty uncomfortable psychological shortcomings, I wasn't eager to try it again. However, last year when our kids took lessons, I decided I would set a good example and get back out there too.
Gradually my skiing improved. Ironically, I found my progress was more of a psychological exercise than a physical one. Last winter, skiing taught me so many FANTASTIC lessons! Perhaps the most profound, was the breakthrough I experienced when I finally mastered getting off the chair lift successfully. Prior to this landmark moment, I'd always responded to getting off the chair lift with stubborn insistence to do what I thought was best. As soon as my skis hit the snow, I'd stand straight up in an effort to gain balance. This seemed logical given my life-long experience of successfully walking around. However, skiing requires a different solution. Gravity and all the accompanying laws of physics dictate that what works with walking, does not work for skiing. However, I tried to deny these laws by insisting upon doing it my way.
That all changed one sunny winter day. Our daughter, Rachel, and I headed over to our favorite ski run. The lift holds 4 people, so in an effort to speed up the line, we rode up the slope with another single rider. Our companion was a woman in her sixties with youthful, wise, sparkling eyes. As we were riding up, I shared with Rachel the pep talk I was giving myself about how this was going to be THE groundbreaking day I finally got off the chairlift without falling. The wise woman next to me said, "The trick is to lean forward, even if it feels like you shouldn't. Just trust and lean forward." As I thanked her, we exchanged a knowing glance. I think we both realized this advice was meant for more than just skiing. These sage words are a great philosophy for life.
As we reached the top of the run, my wise companion wished me luck. However I barely heard her because I was so focused on the task at hand. As I got off the chairlift, I literally repeated over and over out loud, "Trust and lean forward...trust and lean forward." I forced myself to keep my upper body forward, even as everything I’d known up to that point told me to stand up. And what do you know...it worked! By trusting and leaning forward I successfully exited the chairlift without falling for the first time!
By trusting myself (and the laws of physics,) I forced myself to work against old habits and adopt new ones. I had to trust that something different might work, without having yet experienced it. It was a leap of faith. Leaning forward puts trust into action. It's easy to look into the past and let old stuff determine what you believe is possible for the future. Rather than looking over your shoulder and remain haunted by your past, lean forward. Stick your neck out. Point your focus and momentum in the direction of what you truly want, NOT when you're running away from. Lean forward toward a new, more optimistic future.
Lessons learned skiing apply so perfectly to life too. Just as with skiing, there are invisible forces at work in life too. Faith. Trust. The Law of Attraction. Confidence. Divine intervention. No matter what you call them and whether or not you acknowledge them, they are at work all around you. You can stubbornly deny and work against them, like I did, and continue to fall when you get off your metaphorical chair lift. Or, you can work in harmony with them and allow them to simplify and accelerate your pursuit of happiness.
Remember these lessons learned from skiing to find peace, joy and happiness this holiday season and into the coming new year:
1. What worked in the past may not work now. Rather than stubbornly cling to old ways, try something new.
2. Be willing to listen for sage advice from unexpected sources and fellow travelers along the way.
3. Move in harmony with, not resistance to, the invisible forces at work in your life.
4. Trust and lean forward.
Trust and Lean Forward into life. You'll be amazed by the miracles that start to show up! Let me know how it goes.
Do you want to reuse this article? Feel free! But you must include the following:
Stephanie Owens is founder of Pleaseaholics.com and creator of the Better Boundaries, Better Life System, specializing in teaching People Pleasers how to stop being so hard on themselves and live happier, more productive lives. To get your FREE Audio CD by mail and receive her weekly articles on letting go of the disease to please and creating a mindset that attracts success, visit www.pleaseaholics.com.
I'm a very novice skier. I never skied as a kid, and didn't try it for the first time until I was about 20. Back then, I enjoyed the speedy, wind in my hair element of it, but didn't enjoy the vulnerability of attempting something that didn't come easily to me. Skiing required relinquishing control and trusting others to pick me up when I fell - two things I'd never been very good at. Since my first experience skiing triggered some pretty uncomfortable psychological shortcomings, I wasn't eager to try it again. However, last year when our kids took lessons, I decided I would set a good example and get back out there too.
Gradually my skiing improved. Ironically, I found my progress was more of a psychological exercise than a physical one. Last winter, skiing taught me so many FANTASTIC lessons! Perhaps the most profound, was the breakthrough I experienced when I finally mastered getting off the chair lift successfully. Prior to this landmark moment, I'd always responded to getting off the chair lift with stubborn insistence to do what I thought was best. As soon as my skis hit the snow, I'd stand straight up in an effort to gain balance. This seemed logical given my life-long experience of successfully walking around. However, skiing requires a different solution. Gravity and all the accompanying laws of physics dictate that what works with walking, does not work for skiing. However, I tried to deny these laws by insisting upon doing it my way.
That all changed one sunny winter day. Our daughter, Rachel, and I headed over to our favorite ski run. The lift holds 4 people, so in an effort to speed up the line, we rode up the slope with another single rider. Our companion was a woman in her sixties with youthful, wise, sparkling eyes. As we were riding up, I shared with Rachel the pep talk I was giving myself about how this was going to be THE groundbreaking day I finally got off the chairlift without falling. The wise woman next to me said, "The trick is to lean forward, even if it feels like you shouldn't. Just trust and lean forward." As I thanked her, we exchanged a knowing glance. I think we both realized this advice was meant for more than just skiing. These sage words are a great philosophy for life.
As we reached the top of the run, my wise companion wished me luck. However I barely heard her because I was so focused on the task at hand. As I got off the chairlift, I literally repeated over and over out loud, "Trust and lean forward...trust and lean forward." I forced myself to keep my upper body forward, even as everything I’d known up to that point told me to stand up. And what do you know...it worked! By trusting and leaning forward I successfully exited the chairlift without falling for the first time!
By trusting myself (and the laws of physics,) I forced myself to work against old habits and adopt new ones. I had to trust that something different might work, without having yet experienced it. It was a leap of faith. Leaning forward puts trust into action. It's easy to look into the past and let old stuff determine what you believe is possible for the future. Rather than looking over your shoulder and remain haunted by your past, lean forward. Stick your neck out. Point your focus and momentum in the direction of what you truly want, NOT when you're running away from. Lean forward toward a new, more optimistic future.
Lessons learned skiing apply so perfectly to life too. Just as with skiing, there are invisible forces at work in life too. Faith. Trust. The Law of Attraction. Confidence. Divine intervention. No matter what you call them and whether or not you acknowledge them, they are at work all around you. You can stubbornly deny and work against them, like I did, and continue to fall when you get off your metaphorical chair lift. Or, you can work in harmony with them and allow them to simplify and accelerate your pursuit of happiness.
Remember these lessons learned from skiing to find peace, joy and happiness this holiday season and into the coming new year:
1. What worked in the past may not work now. Rather than stubbornly cling to old ways, try something new.
2. Be willing to listen for sage advice from unexpected sources and fellow travelers along the way.
3. Move in harmony with, not resistance to, the invisible forces at work in your life.
4. Trust and lean forward.
Trust and Lean Forward into life. You'll be amazed by the miracles that start to show up! Let me know how it goes.
Do you want to reuse this article? Feel free! But you must include the following:
Stephanie Owens is founder of Pleaseaholics.com and creator of the Better Boundaries, Better Life System, specializing in teaching People Pleasers how to stop being so hard on themselves and live happier, more productive lives. To get your FREE Audio CD by mail and receive her weekly articles on letting go of the disease to please and creating a mindset that attracts success, visit www.pleaseaholics.com.
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