Flattery (And A Thank You) Will Get You Everywhere

It’s often helpful to be able to learn quickly what type of personality you’re dealing with. Non-verbal language gives away a lot of information if you know what to look for. This week’s article gives you a quick trick to determine if you’re dealing with a passive, assertive or aggressive person without having to look closely for subtle cues. It’s not always easy to get a person to show their true colors in the course of typical conversation. Certainly, it’s difficult to determine their style quickly.

The secret to learning who they really are is to give a compliment. A person’s response to a flattering remark lets you peek behind the curtain every time.

Aggressive Types: When given a compliment an aggressive person will agree or elaborate on your comments.
Passive Types: When given a compliment a passive person will refute or down play the praise.
Assertive Types: When given a compliment an assertive person will simply say “Thank you.”

The great thing about this technique is it’s always appropriate to offer a compliment or flattery. In this way, you can join with a new acquaintance and still gain important information that will assist you in knowing what to expect from a person right away. Whether you’ve just met, or you’ve known a person for a while and just can’t quite get a read on them, this strategy is effective.

The compliment response technique also works in reverse. Pay attention to your response to a compliment. What does your reaction say about you? If you want to adopt a more assertive approach, make sure you respond to every compliment with a simple “Thank You.” Not only will people perceive you as more confident (even if you’re not quite feel it), but you’ll also begin to show more assertiveness in other areas of your life.

A simple “Thank You” goes a long way to getting rid of the disease to please. Give it a try!