Are You On Steroids?

Understanding how and why you became a Pleaseaholic will help you move forward. We covered the Pleaseaholic Formula in broad strokes before.

THE PLEASEAHOLIC FORMULA:
GH + KL + MB = PH
Good Heart + Kid Logic + Mob Boss=Pleaseaholic

Now let's explore the perfect storm that converges to create a Pleaseaholic by breaking down the formula into its component parts. First, let’s look at the first element…Good Heart.

GH = GOOD HEART
When you really think about it People Pleasing is such a wonderfully generous, kind-hearted reaction. It's actually cooperation on steroids. You could have chosen any number of ways to solve your problems along the way, and you picked extreme cooperation and generousity. That says a lot about the core of who you are and the intrinsic kindness that exists in your heart.
Remind yourself of your good heart when you find yourself People Pleasing. Empathize with the little fearful child inside of you that's only seeking safety, security and shelter. Consider the love and nurturing he or she needs so much more than another round of criticism.

When you struggle to say no and set boundaries, the adult version of yourself isn’t in charge. A scared, wounded child has hijacked the situation. If you encountered a frightened, lost child in the mall, would you criticize and yell at her, or offer comfort, support and reassurance? Extend yourself the same compassion and kindness. You deserve it just as much as that sweet little one.
Use your good heart to be kind, compassionate and loving to yourself.

Give yourself credit for being such a good person. Refuse to listen as your inner tape entices you to discount your actions because sometimes you made the choise to please others out of fear. That DOES NOT make you weak. It takes much greater strength to be flexible and generous than brash and aggressive. By your very nature you operate from a loving, kind, generous place. Remember…of all the options you had to manage your life, you chose cooperation on steroids.
Stop for a second and really soak that up. Say outloud: “At my core I am a wonderful, generous person.” (Yes, you must actually say it outloud. There’s something powerful connected to speaking the words.)

Act First: Write this statement on Post-Its and note cards and place them around your home, car, wallet, office…any where you spend time so you are surrounded by reminders of your good heart. Repeat the statement out loud whenever it comes into view.

“We do what we know how to do. When we know better we do better.”
Dr. Maya Angelou

You did what you knew how to do when you were young to try to make sense of and feel safe in your surroundings. It’s no coincidence you’re reading this right now. You’ve sensed now is the time to learn something better so you can do something better. Every experience you’ve had on your journey so far and brought you to this moment.

This is your time! Begin your best life today!